Shared Trauma: Extended Family Thanksgiving Candle - 13 oz, Crackling Wood Wick

If you can't say anything nice, make it so you can't say anything at all.

Extended Family Thanksgiving

Smells like: warm apple pie, french vanilla ice cream

You love your family. You do. You just also need approximately three to five business days to recover from being in the same room as them. There's the uncle who has Opinions about everything you've done with your life, the relative who brings up politics thirty seconds into grace, the cousin who wasn't invited but showed up anyway, and your grandmother, who means well but has been asking when you're getting married since you were nineteen. And yet, every November, you get back in the car.

This candle is for the deep breath you take before walking through that front door. It's for the practiced smile, the subject changes, the strategic trips to the kitchen to refill a drink you don't actually need. It's for everyone who has ever found peace — real, genuine, fleeting peace — in a slice of apple pie, because sometimes the most effective conflict resolution strategy is keeping your mouth full. You can't start an argument if you're eating dessert.

The Shut Your Pie Hole candle won't fix your family (nothing will), but it will fill your home with the warm, forgiving scent of brown sugar, baked apples, and vanilla — the olfactory equivalent of a long exhale. Light it the morning of, light it the night after, light it the moment you get home and kick off your shoes. You survived another year. You've earned it.
Details:

• 100% Soy Wax, sustainably sourced
• 1 crackling wood wick
• Fragrance: "Shut Your Pie Hole," notes of warm apple pie and ice cream
• 3"w x 5"h
• 1 lbs 9 oz total weight
• 13 Oz of wax
• Est. burn time 100 Hrs, assuming normal burning practices
• Vessel: 100% Recycled Glass Classico jar